What if I had said no to God?
No God, I can't adopt this child. I'm too scared.
No God, I can't do this; it's just too hard!
No God, this could mess up my perfect life. My perfect family.
No God, I don't have enough money.
No God, this requires giving up too much control.
No God, I love my idols much more than I love your will for my life.
I would have missed this:
and this:
and this:
 |
| Thumbs up! |
In just five days, I already see a life transforming.
She's been to Target and loved it! (Her life is now complete).
She's eaten Papa Murphy's pizza and loved it.
She's had her first peanut butter and jelly sandwich:
She's had her first splash in a pool in the hot valley sun with her brother and sisters:
She's snuggled up with her sister:
Soaked up the warmth of the cement while giggling with her brother:
Oh my heart, what if I had said no?!
This treasure for our family would not have come home. This treasure would have gone to waste. This treasure would have grown up with revolving caretakers. This treasure would have been put on the streets as a young teenager. And after that, I can't even think about what might have happened.
God did all of this. He orchestrated each moment to come to this day. All I did was give a measly little, shaky, terrified yes, that I fretted over and cried about and questioned for days. I sobbed to Kristen, I whined to my mom, I layed awake at night with a pit of fear in my stomach. God ignored (or tolerated) my multiple crises of confidence and did the rest.
People say they could never adopt. Me neither!!! No way! It's just too scary and too hard. But for God, nothing is impossible, nothing is too difficult. And I was so stupid to be so scared the whole time, because, of course, God can do it.
And now all I can think when I look at her precious face, when I hear her call me "momma", when she hugs my neck tight, when she kisses me or touches my face, is, what if I had said no?
10 comments:
This is AMAZING! Thank you so much for sharing your journey! You and your family are an inspiration and it's funny that all you had to do was just be you....by you not being anything special, that is what makes you soooo special, and incredible, and magnificent, and wonderful. So thanks again for sharing your blessings and allowing us to travel with you throughout your journey! I love you and your family soo much that it hurts :) I am so happy for you and waaaay mega happy that Elena was rescued and now gets to be a part of what must be one of the absolute best families in the world!
You always make me cry! This is beautiful. My favorite picture is her snuggling on the towel with her brother. I don't know why...I just love it.
sooo amazing
I'm in tears here. So amazingly sweet! I am so beyond happy for your family. And I can't WAIT to meet her this fall!! Ps is it strange that I see similarities between Elena and Molly? I guess they are related... ;)
She's home! And completely and utterly adorable! So happy for all of you!
So much love for all of this. So much love.
I don't really have words...so precious. I'm trying to cry quietly, because I'm sitting here with Eliana, who is still awake, and I don't want to freak her out! Just beautiful.
So beautiful! Look at your perfect little family, just waiting to be complete with such a precious little girl. So glad she is home where she belongs and can't wait till we are right there with you and have our little lady here with us!
Just what I needed to read... thank you!!!
- Jennifer
Hi! I just found your blog through reece's and it is like I am writing these words. My husband and I are in the middle of our homestudy and have gone through the same emotions you describe in this post. We get scared and wonder "what in the world are we doing?" But then there is still this calling that can not be silenced. We are currently waiting to find out the status of a little one from Region 23 as well! I look forward to reading more of your family's journey and thank you!
Maria
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